Woes of Romance
How to begin? How to begin?
"One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry." - Oscar Wilde
In my younger days, not to give the impression that I am old, but days younger than I am now; I was a most hopeless romantic. Life was centered on the flirtation and the fling. Over the course of a few rather unfortunate flings, I decided to call it quits. And if there is one thing I am terribly good at, it is being stubborn. So I turned off the boiler and let the flame grow cold. "...You'll never break this heart of stone..." And just like that, rock solid. But how does one re-ignite the flame?
Not to say that I haven't been in love since that fateful day of stubborn stupidity; in truth, I fall in love constantly. But it is not a true love. I constantly fall in love with all women. If I cross paths with a woman wearing an elegant dress, I fall in love with her for a few moments. Or a woman with a lovely accent. A woman with sharp whits. A woman telling me of the excellent novel she's just read. A woman making sassy remarks. A woman with a glistening smile. A woman with good style. Or even a woman with great musical taste. The reasons are nearly endless. I'm not talking about lust either here. Perhaps an appreciation of beauty? But I do truly fall in love, at least for a few moments. But that's just the problem. A few moments only.
I think perhaps my standards are too high. I'm not entirely sure what my "perfect woman" is, but I'm incredibly good at professing to know what she is not. I won't try to deny that I've become an elitist snob, though I hope it doesn't show too much. Of course, I don't expect any woman to be perfect by any means, as I know I could never dream of meeting such a standard myself. Plus, where is the fun in perfection? But I am also hopeful that I will be able to find the one that will be perfect for me. And that is where the challenge lies.
I seldom meet women that interest me. Certainly, there's no shortage of attractive women around. I've met plenty in my day, but very few that I find interesting after getting to know them a little bit. Not that I'm trying to flatter myself either. I know that my personality, tastes, and quirks can be all over the place, thus making me not an ideal candidate for many women out there either. I often get the impression I'm thought of as being the guy people thinks is funny, slightly charming, weird, interesting, or whatever, but not a good romantic catch per se. But then again, how can one ever really know what someone thinks of them? When It comes to romance, I'm as blind as a one-eyed owl in the sunlight. Unless a girl all but pins a personal memo to my forehead, I'll likely never realize that she was even interested. It's one of my many great romantic curses. Often it's not till years later that I find out she liked me back, or that so and so had a crush on me. Perhaps many an opportunity missed. Sigh.
Speaking of curses: I'm also a very slow mover in romantic affairs. I never like to rush or inconvenience any women I'm romantically associated with. I'm not aggressive whatsoever. I would have done well in British society of old, where courtships lasted months. Funny to admit, but I have in fact been dumped for moving too slowly. For not kissing my then girlfriend sooner. But I was too clueless; didn't want to rush her, and it appears she found me far too boring that way. Obviously, I'm not great at getting into relationships, as I take too long. But I think I'm fairly good at being observant, cutesy, and caring once I do. I also tend to get bored being in a relationship after only a short while. Most likely cause I've not dated a woman that's truly interested me enough.
"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance" - Oscar Wilde (Reading Oscar Wilde is what got me into thinking about this romantic mess tonight)
I don't mind being single either. That's potentially another romantic curse. I'm not totally sure how I feel about marriage; as I guess I've never tried it. I keep myself busy enough as it is, and I like the selfish leisure of being able to do what I want whenever. Though I think that if I ever really found the right woman, I'd have no problem with shuffling such hobbies and passions to the side. I don't often get lonely either. In fact, almost never. I meet so many people that can't seem to survive without being in a relationship. That's not me at all. I can't remember a day in my life that I've been homesick for, or really missed someone. Of course, it's always fun to see people that you care about, to spend time with and enjoy their company, but I don't ever have that sensation or sorrow of really missing them.
But I suppose that I do sometimes wish I had someone around to share adventures with. Plus, cuddling is always nice. I probably ought to make more of an effort. I can't tell whether I'll always enjoy being single, or if in the future I'll wish I weren't, or worse; look back and wish that I'd married when I hadn't.
Again, It's so terribly difficult to find interesting women. I experimented with online dating for all of five minutes once. I got an account, scrolled through fifty or so recommended matches and discovered that all women living in Utah at least are nearly clones of each other. I was terribly frightened and disheartened. I have zero interest in your typical social media, trend following, hipster millennial female. And that is where the challenge lies. Where do I even begin looking? So far in my life, I've met two, and maybe a half women that I could honestly see myself being married to. But to my knowledge, neither of them were interested in myself, and now are married, or live in distant lands.
What's a fellow to do? I suppose I should start by chiseling out my heart of stone, and perhaps diluting my snobbish tastes with some paint thinner. But that still doesn't help me as to where to look.
...now accepting resumes...
"One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry." - Oscar Wilde
In my younger days, not to give the impression that I am old, but days younger than I am now; I was a most hopeless romantic. Life was centered on the flirtation and the fling. Over the course of a few rather unfortunate flings, I decided to call it quits. And if there is one thing I am terribly good at, it is being stubborn. So I turned off the boiler and let the flame grow cold. "...You'll never break this heart of stone..." And just like that, rock solid. But how does one re-ignite the flame?
Not to say that I haven't been in love since that fateful day of stubborn stupidity; in truth, I fall in love constantly. But it is not a true love. I constantly fall in love with all women. If I cross paths with a woman wearing an elegant dress, I fall in love with her for a few moments. Or a woman with a lovely accent. A woman with sharp whits. A woman telling me of the excellent novel she's just read. A woman making sassy remarks. A woman with a glistening smile. A woman with good style. Or even a woman with great musical taste. The reasons are nearly endless. I'm not talking about lust either here. Perhaps an appreciation of beauty? But I do truly fall in love, at least for a few moments. But that's just the problem. A few moments only.
I think perhaps my standards are too high. I'm not entirely sure what my "perfect woman" is, but I'm incredibly good at professing to know what she is not. I won't try to deny that I've become an elitist snob, though I hope it doesn't show too much. Of course, I don't expect any woman to be perfect by any means, as I know I could never dream of meeting such a standard myself. Plus, where is the fun in perfection? But I am also hopeful that I will be able to find the one that will be perfect for me. And that is where the challenge lies.
I seldom meet women that interest me. Certainly, there's no shortage of attractive women around. I've met plenty in my day, but very few that I find interesting after getting to know them a little bit. Not that I'm trying to flatter myself either. I know that my personality, tastes, and quirks can be all over the place, thus making me not an ideal candidate for many women out there either. I often get the impression I'm thought of as being the guy people thinks is funny, slightly charming, weird, interesting, or whatever, but not a good romantic catch per se. But then again, how can one ever really know what someone thinks of them? When It comes to romance, I'm as blind as a one-eyed owl in the sunlight. Unless a girl all but pins a personal memo to my forehead, I'll likely never realize that she was even interested. It's one of my many great romantic curses. Often it's not till years later that I find out she liked me back, or that so and so had a crush on me. Perhaps many an opportunity missed. Sigh.
Speaking of curses: I'm also a very slow mover in romantic affairs. I never like to rush or inconvenience any women I'm romantically associated with. I'm not aggressive whatsoever. I would have done well in British society of old, where courtships lasted months. Funny to admit, but I have in fact been dumped for moving too slowly. For not kissing my then girlfriend sooner. But I was too clueless; didn't want to rush her, and it appears she found me far too boring that way. Obviously, I'm not great at getting into relationships, as I take too long. But I think I'm fairly good at being observant, cutesy, and caring once I do. I also tend to get bored being in a relationship after only a short while. Most likely cause I've not dated a woman that's truly interested me enough.
"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance" - Oscar Wilde (Reading Oscar Wilde is what got me into thinking about this romantic mess tonight)
I don't mind being single either. That's potentially another romantic curse. I'm not totally sure how I feel about marriage; as I guess I've never tried it. I keep myself busy enough as it is, and I like the selfish leisure of being able to do what I want whenever. Though I think that if I ever really found the right woman, I'd have no problem with shuffling such hobbies and passions to the side. I don't often get lonely either. In fact, almost never. I meet so many people that can't seem to survive without being in a relationship. That's not me at all. I can't remember a day in my life that I've been homesick for, or really missed someone. Of course, it's always fun to see people that you care about, to spend time with and enjoy their company, but I don't ever have that sensation or sorrow of really missing them.
But I suppose that I do sometimes wish I had someone around to share adventures with. Plus, cuddling is always nice. I probably ought to make more of an effort. I can't tell whether I'll always enjoy being single, or if in the future I'll wish I weren't, or worse; look back and wish that I'd married when I hadn't.
Again, It's so terribly difficult to find interesting women. I experimented with online dating for all of five minutes once. I got an account, scrolled through fifty or so recommended matches and discovered that all women living in Utah at least are nearly clones of each other. I was terribly frightened and disheartened. I have zero interest in your typical social media, trend following, hipster millennial female. And that is where the challenge lies. Where do I even begin looking? So far in my life, I've met two, and maybe a half women that I could honestly see myself being married to. But to my knowledge, neither of them were interested in myself, and now are married, or live in distant lands.
What's a fellow to do? I suppose I should start by chiseling out my heart of stone, and perhaps diluting my snobbish tastes with some paint thinner. But that still doesn't help me as to where to look.
...now accepting resumes...
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