King of Fools
Here we close 2018. Another year of failed romance. Though I've learned a lot, so not a total failure.
My major romantic failures of this year include wanting to date two separate females—one toward the beginning of the year, the other for most of the year—but being so clueless that I lost them both.
Yep, both now have boyfriends that are obviously not me.
I'm just thinking aloud here and practicing being more open, which is one of my greatest failures in both scenarios this year.
Okay, so I am almost completely and utterly clueless when it comes to picking up on romantic cues. Like a blind man, stumbling around in a cave, and getting eaten by a bear before I can find my way back to the light. I always find out after-the-fact that whatever female I was chasing, liked me back. My sisters are really good at telling me that kind of info days, months, years after it is no longer useful. Kind of funny really. But definitely have missed more opportunities than I should have!
The other day, I came to the realization that I have charm, at least a decent amount; the problem is that I don't know how to apply it! As I've said before, mothers always love me. Usually more than their daughters, or at least more obviously than their daughters.
In my most recent case, there is a girl whom I've liked for some time, but she's even harder to read than most. So I figured that she wasn't really interested at all. I figured I had run full speed into the friend-zone. But I heard it through the grapevine that that was not the case. Annnnnndd through that same grapevine, I found out she has a boyfriend now! Sigh. Story of my life: A day late and a dollar short. At this point, what can one do but wish them good luck? Clearly, she's moved on.
This next year I need to work on taking greater risks. I'm a very calculated person. That's just the personality type I was dealt. I have to think things over 1,000 times from every angle before I act. There's a method to most of my madness. But yeah, I played it very safe, cause I figured I was in the friend-zone. And now it appears to have landed me there! Definitely going to work on this problem.
I've never made an official "check-list," but I do have a pretty rigid one. Both of these girls actually fit really really well with my ideals. Of course, I'm not looking for anyone perfect or anything, but the base-line is good taste in music, intelligent, well learned, curious, open-minded, and follow the beat of their own drum. And they have to be able to put up with me, which may be the hardest part?? Anyways, It's a hard line—lower standards or stick to your guns? I'm not too crazy or strict about the "list", but I'll definitely wind up unhappy if I alter it a whole lot.
One of the biggest problems is my introversion. I love my alone time. I don't have any problems with spending time around people I enjoy, but I do need a good break here and there. I need to find a gal on the same introversion rotation as me. Then we can do all of our social stuff, and when we get burned out at the same time, we can sit across the room and each read our own books or something. I'm rather adaptable, but I don't think that I could handle a super talkative, needy extrovert. Strangely enough though, my main "love language" is time. Sacrificing my time to spend with others, is one of the easiest ways to tell that I'm interested. I'm perfectly content always doing my own thing—one of the very few things that can shake me out of doing my own thing is spending time with people that I thoroughly enjoy.
Anyhow, I know that this is far from my greatest post. Sometimes it's just helpful to think aloud. Plus it helps with my vulnerability/becoming more emotionally open exercises.
In the least, enjoy this great song King of Fools
My major romantic failures of this year include wanting to date two separate females—one toward the beginning of the year, the other for most of the year—but being so clueless that I lost them both.
Yep, both now have boyfriends that are obviously not me.
I'm just thinking aloud here and practicing being more open, which is one of my greatest failures in both scenarios this year.
Okay, so I am almost completely and utterly clueless when it comes to picking up on romantic cues. Like a blind man, stumbling around in a cave, and getting eaten by a bear before I can find my way back to the light. I always find out after-the-fact that whatever female I was chasing, liked me back. My sisters are really good at telling me that kind of info days, months, years after it is no longer useful. Kind of funny really. But definitely have missed more opportunities than I should have!
The other day, I came to the realization that I have charm, at least a decent amount; the problem is that I don't know how to apply it! As I've said before, mothers always love me. Usually more than their daughters, or at least more obviously than their daughters.
In my most recent case, there is a girl whom I've liked for some time, but she's even harder to read than most. So I figured that she wasn't really interested at all. I figured I had run full speed into the friend-zone. But I heard it through the grapevine that that was not the case. Annnnnndd through that same grapevine, I found out she has a boyfriend now! Sigh. Story of my life: A day late and a dollar short. At this point, what can one do but wish them good luck? Clearly, she's moved on.
This next year I need to work on taking greater risks. I'm a very calculated person. That's just the personality type I was dealt. I have to think things over 1,000 times from every angle before I act. There's a method to most of my madness. But yeah, I played it very safe, cause I figured I was in the friend-zone. And now it appears to have landed me there! Definitely going to work on this problem.
I've never made an official "check-list," but I do have a pretty rigid one. Both of these girls actually fit really really well with my ideals. Of course, I'm not looking for anyone perfect or anything, but the base-line is good taste in music, intelligent, well learned, curious, open-minded, and follow the beat of their own drum. And they have to be able to put up with me, which may be the hardest part?? Anyways, It's a hard line—lower standards or stick to your guns? I'm not too crazy or strict about the "list", but I'll definitely wind up unhappy if I alter it a whole lot.
One of the biggest problems is my introversion. I love my alone time. I don't have any problems with spending time around people I enjoy, but I do need a good break here and there. I need to find a gal on the same introversion rotation as me. Then we can do all of our social stuff, and when we get burned out at the same time, we can sit across the room and each read our own books or something. I'm rather adaptable, but I don't think that I could handle a super talkative, needy extrovert. Strangely enough though, my main "love language" is time. Sacrificing my time to spend with others, is one of the easiest ways to tell that I'm interested. I'm perfectly content always doing my own thing—one of the very few things that can shake me out of doing my own thing is spending time with people that I thoroughly enjoy.
Anyhow, I know that this is far from my greatest post. Sometimes it's just helpful to think aloud. Plus it helps with my vulnerability/becoming more emotionally open exercises.
In the least, enjoy this great song King of Fools
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